I had lunch a few days ago with a kindred soul -- another straight wife I met in my town. After I invited her to lunch, I had a bit of panic because I wasn't quite sure where to start or even what mine or her expectations were.
But once we got through the formalities of ordering and settling into a booth, it was as if she knew just the right things to say. She's been divorced about five years and was married for about thirty years. She shared her story briefly with me and then let me share mine. With every statement I made, she'd nod or agree.
She UNDERSTOOD! She'd lived through the betrayal and hurt. She'd been lied to and had her trust destroyed. When I said that sometimes the situation just overtakes me out of the blue and I wonder how I ended up like this, she shared that she'd often find herself on the sofa in a sitting fetal position just staring at the television.
What a feeling of validation! Over her objections, I'd paid for her lunch, and after our discussion, I felt like it was worth every penny because I got as much from our talk as I do from a session with my therapist. Don't get me wrong, my therapist is terrific. But my lunch friend has lived what I've lived. And that's the only way anybody will understand what I've been through. EVAH!
Have you had the opportunity to sit down and talk with another straight wife? If not, Bonnie Kaye has an opportunity coming up in September in Philadelphia. I can't go, but you might want to see about attending if you can. You can email her and get more details. Her website is on the resources page of this site, and her contact info is there.
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