When I discovered my husband was gay, I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Divorce was a foreign word to me. I'd married for life and had spent the majority of my marriage as a stay-at-home wife and mother.
In an email to a former pastor, where I asked if he would meet with me for some counseling, I actually wrote that I felt divorce would reward my husband and punish me. He'd be free to continue pursuing other men and I'd be shoved alone into the world with no way to support myself short of learning to say, "Welcome to Walmart."
The former pastor was unable to meet with me because I'd tracked him down in the middle of an out-of-state move. But he referred me to a wonderful counselor who has been with me through the whole ordeal. She's given me lots of good pointers and helped me work through many issues.
But one pointer I didn't get from her was this: When you have to go to court or deal with your husband/ex-husband, wear power underwear to give yourself a psychological advantage.
I can't remember where I read this -- most likely somewhere on the Internet. But I went to the mall, found an animal-print camisole and panties. I didn't visit that fancy specialty lingerie store because I couldn't afford THAT much money for undies. I found it at one of the department stores.
At my first court date, I wore a pair of black dress pants and a black-and-white sweater. And under that sweater, leeching all its power straight into me, were the camisole (paired with a black bra) and panties.
I was woman! Hear me roar!
On the outside I was dressed to suit even the most conservative judge.
But underneath? WOWZA! And it was all my little secret.
So my advice to you, ladies, is to buy yourself some sort of underwear that's out of your ordinary. Something you'd normally not wear but that makes you feel special and powerful. It might be red lace. It might be animal print like mine. It could be emerald green or hot pink. Just make sure it gives you a psychological boost.
And then wear those undies -- your power underwear -- when you need a little extra something in your life.
P.S. Would you believe that when I went to Google images and searched for "power underwear" most of the hits were for men's undergarments? Mostly thongs, many see-through, and some with strategically placed holes? I'm sorry, but I didn't find them in the least bit sexy. But I'll bet I know who would.
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