Wednesday, August 8, 2012

The Beard?

As seen online...

Actress Reese Witherspoon has shown an ability to act in many genres, but she’s often remembered for her successful romantic comedies. Films such as Legally Blonde, Sweet Home Alabama, and Just Like Heaven have shown her to be a proven draw in the genre, and so she’s lined up for one more. calls Reese Witherspoon’s newest project, The Beard, “a Sexually Incompatible Rom-Com.” Witherspoon will star and co-produce the film, but not too much is known about it just yet. But as Access Hollywood points out, the term beard when applied to a woman usually denotes a girl who poses as the lover of a secretly gay man., however, adds that Witherspoon could just as well be playing a lesbian who pretends to be straight, as the term can be used both ways.

In fact, The Beard could bring about a new take on a genre in desperate need of a fresh idea. Instead of the standard formula (girl meets guy, false pretense, girl falls in love, confusion ensues, epic chase scene, happily ever after), the film could involved platonic relationships between members of the opposite sex. It could deal with the heartbreak of one person being in love but orientation being the thing that keeps the other from reciprocating.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

But he's married!

Last Sunday night, Bonnie Kaye shared from this website on her radio show.

Married Gay

There's a wealth of information there for the wife who thinks her husband might be gay. It's worth checking out if you have doubts. I am one of the millions of women in the United States who discovered her husband was gay. I never had a clue, and even looking back in hindsight, there wasn't anything specific I could put my finger on that would have made me suspect before I found hard evidence. He was simply a good liar.
Too bad his nose didn't grow like Pinocchio's. It would have made things so much easier. Even after admitting he was gay, he still tried to gaslight * me and make me think I was crazy. Thankfully I had enough evidence that I didn't fall prey to his attempts. I stayed the course and pursued a divorce. It wasn't an easy path to take, but it was the best one. I could not remain married to a man who has so little respect for me and who found it so easy to act in such a dangerous and reprehensible manner.

And speaking of Bonnie's radio show, it's a terrific resource too. If you scroll to the bottom of the page, you can find an archive of past shows. She has men and women who come on the show to share, and yours truly has also called in a few times to talk about my experience.

* From Wikipedia: Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

The term "gaslighting" comes from the play Gas Light and its film adaptations. In those works a character uses a variety of tricks to convince his spouse that she is crazy, so that she won't be believed when she reports strange things that are genuinely occurring, including the dimming of the gas lamps in the house (which happens when her husband turns on the normally unused gas lamps in the attic to conduct clandestine activities there). Since then, it has become a colloquial expression that is now also used in clinical and research literature.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Bigger Country, Bigger Numbers

From China Daily

Bonnie Kaye estimates that in this country over 4 million women are married or have been married to gay men. I suppose it's only logical that when you increase the population, you increase the number of straight wives.

Getting married is supposed to be the happiest day for any couple as they start life together as man and wife, but for many it is the beginning of a secret hell as they slowly discover their partner's true feelings.

"The best time of life has been ruined," a woman who was married to a gay man said in a show focusing on homosexuality produced by China Central Television.

She is just one of the millions of women leading a fake heterosexual lifestyle and living with mental anguish in China.

An estimated 16 million wives in China are married to gay men, the Guangzhou Daily reported Thursday, citing Zhang Beichuan, an expert in homosexuality and a councilor at the China Sexology Association.

The majority of male homosexuals are believed to enter into heterosexual marriages due to Chinese traditions and carrying on the family bloodline, the paper said.

"Most wives did not know their husbands were gay when they got married," said Li Bai, a divorced wife of a gay man.

According to the 2005 show "In the name of life", about 90 percent of gays in China get married without revealing their true sexuality to their wives due to the pressure of traditional social concepts, which leads to many unhappy marriages.

"I loved him and did not know he was a gay when I married him," a woman said in the show.

To protect their privacy, many women choose to endure their faux marriages and pour out their woes on the Internet.

"What Can I do? It was 20 years into our marriage that I found he was gay," a blogger in Chongqing named "Bingyusuoxin" said on her micro blog. "I know I should get divorced, but what about our kids?" The woman said she had to keep the truth from her family.

Many women still hide in dark corners and stay helpless, said an online organization for women who are married to gay men. Some are still suffering pain and shame.

According to, a non-profit website offering psychological consulting and legal assistance to wives of gay men, more than a thousand women have become registered members to complain about their marriages and seek for help.

"We hope more parents will know about the stories of women who marry gay men and do not push their children to marry someone they don't love," said Wu Youjian, president of a Guangzhou-based grassroots organization for parents and friends of homosexuals.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Encouraging homosexuality?

A commercial showing members of wildly popular all-girl band AKB48 passing bite-sized candies seductively from mouth-to-mouth is under fire in Japan for encouraging homosexuality.

The advertisement, which aired in March, shows the school uniform-clad young women -- all in their late teens or early 20s -- intimately exchanging the sweet, with the close-up footage slowing as their lips near.

A broadcasting standards watchdog said Thursday the majority of the 116 complaints it had received in March about commercials concerning young people related to this advert.

"The commercial may encourage homosexuality," one of the complaints said, adding "oral flora" was also a concern, according to the Broadcasting Ethics and Program Improvement Organisation.

"I don't want to see commercials like this," said another correspondent, who also complained of a music video by the group "in which girls, including teens, hug each other in their underwear.... It is very distasteful".

AKB48, one of the world's highest grossing acts with more than $200 million in CD and DVD sales last year, have become a phenomenon in Japan and other parts of Asia over recent years.

With a total of around 90 all-female performers, ranging in age from early teens to mid-20s, their bubblegum pop and synchronised dancing has proved a huge hit with pre-pubescent girls.

Running the gamut from girl-next-door to sultry temptress, the band also has a substantial male following -- many of whom are older -- who support a vast merchandising industry.

A spokesman for UHA Mikakuto Co. which makes the sweets, said the reaction to the TV ad, which aired for 10 days to March 25, had been mixed.

"We received complaints about the ad, but there are many people who enjoyed it," said the spokesman, who declined to be named, adding a survey of viewers had ranked it the fourth most popular commercial at the time.

The commercial and a "making of" video, can be seen on the UHA Mikakuto's website at .

Well yeah, I can think of more tasteful ways to advertise candy. But get a grip. This doesn't encourage homosexuality anymore than Paul Newman movies encourage blue eyes. In a world filled with real problems, folks don't need to waste time on trivialities like this.

Here's the ad just so you can judge for yourself.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

The Gay Agenda

First, let's discount all the rat bastard gay husbands/wives and ex-husbands/wives who did us wrong.

That leaves the decent gay men and women about whose agenda everyone seems concerned.

In a nutshell, here's the gay agenda.

That's it.  Simple, huh?  So why does everyone make it complicated?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Springing back

Spring has sprung in these parts and I hope it finds all of you doing well.

I had a strange thing happen today.  I haven't checked this blog or the email affiliated with it for months.  I've been too busy dealing with other junk.  And for some reason I checked the email account this morning.  There was a message sent yesterday.  A message from a woman going through the gay husband thing and not wanting to share all until I responded.

I don't know if any of you believe in God, but I do.  I'm blessed to belong to a church that at its core believes in being inclusive and in justice for all.  My church has many gay and lesbian members, all of whom are good, honest people who believe in a Jesus who died for their sins (not one of which is being homosexual).  But I digress.  I'm thinking God tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, "Check that email account."

I can't promise I'll blog as much as I used to.  I have a lot more going on now -- involvement at church, a job, and just stuff in general.

Also, the yo is swinging down.  You know about yo, don't you?  Sometimes it's up and sometimes it's down.  Three years ago I was learning about my ex-husband's affairs and preparing to ask for a divorce, somthing I'd never, ever imagined possible -- affairs or divorce.  And pretty soon, what would have been my wedding anniversary will come up. 

Someone at church shared a few weeks ago that they'd just celebrated their 54th anniversary.  Later, a friend asked if hearing that made me feel bad.  I had to be honest with him and told him it did because it reminded me I'd never have a golden anniversary celebration.  But I was quick to add that I'd never want anyone else to NOT share their good news because of me.  I'm truly happy for that couple.  They are living examples of what true Christians are.

So... how's YOUR yo?

Sunday, December 25, 2011


Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays!

Whatever you celebrate, I hope it is wonderful for you.

And for all the straight wives out there, may 2012 be a better year for you.  Keep your head held high, try to maintain a positive attitude, plug into the resources available to you and move forward in your new life.