What the heck am I?
This week I turn 54. 50-freakin'-4! How did that happen? I've been married for 30 years and truly love my wife. Still, as with many guys, when I'm out and about, attractive young women catch my eye. A glimpse of thigh or cleavage and she's got my attention.
Guys rarely get the look over from me. Oh, maybe once in a while if the guy is undeniably hot.
Ah, but then why am I so attracted to man-on-man sex? Why do I want to find some guys who want to 'hang out' naked? How come I long for a special male friend? Someone who shares my interests. Someone who wants to get intimate, but not to run around humping anything that bends over for him? Someone who simply wants one special male friend in his life?
I don't like labels. Gay. Bi. Straight. Human sexuality follows more of a gradient, I think. While there are guys who definitely are straight or gay, I suspect there may be a large percentage who fit in on a sliding scale between those extremes.
If it's women who catch my eye, but guys who I want to strip down with, maybe my scale veers slightly more straight than gay.
Then again, maybe the thought of physical contact with another guy fills some need in my life. I do not have any really close male friends. The friends I share with and open up to are all women. So, perhaps, the attraction to sex with another guy is really an attempt to simply develop a close bond with another male, which is something lacking in my life.
My wife and I love each other deeply. We have not had intimate sexual contact for about two years. In that time, I've had sex twice with the same person . . . another guy. I won't be seeing him again. He's looking for a gay life partner. I'm looking for a fun friend who is OK with my commitment to wife and family.
I'm not interested in being a male slut who jumps from guy to guy. Lots of reasons for that. Not the least of which is concern from a health and wellness perspective.
So what am I? Bi? Pansexual? Confused? :)
I'm not sure, but I won't be branded by a label. And I do love myself. If only I could find a friend who could also love me!
Sorry for the rambling. Just some thoughts as another birthday approaches.
To paraphrase Bonnie Kaye, if you are a man and you want to have sex with someone who has a penis, you are gay.
Still confused? Can I make it any clearer for you?
Even if they are Bi-sexual, they are just greedy. I understand when they are gay and made a mistake by marrying a woman. But if they say they are Bi, then why can't they be with just one person, either a man or a woman? That's no less cheating than a straight man who sleeps with another woman.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I made it clear to my attorney that my biggest issue was my ex-husband's rampant promiscuity. The ex at one point tried to make me believe that it wasn't cheating because he was having sex with men. I let him know very quickly that any sex with any person outside of the marriage is cheating.
ReplyDeleteThanks for commenting, T.